I read the message from 3/9/19: You need to empty yourselves, being the nothing that you are, pure and empty, so that you can be filled with my living grace.
I prayed, “what do I now need to be emptied of?”
I felt my impatience, but my impatience comes from my desire to want others to respond with zeal, knowing the great danger we are now in. Yet, they don’t respond, at least to my desires and expectations.
I need to wait with the patience of the Father depicted in the painting of Rembrandt, The Return of the Prodigal Son; a waiting that is emptying me and, at the same time, consuming me; a painful waiting that is a slow death to self.
My battle for souls is my willingness to wait in ABBA through Jesus crucified and His long waiting in the Eucharist. It is the most intimate participation in the Divine Love of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit for humanity. It is the perfection of the interior martyrdom lived solely for Love.
My insisting and pushing stop, and I accept and live in my powerlessness, abandoned in God’s eternal waiting, trusting only in His goodness and mercy.
Persevere in the work of waiting with expectant faith!
Jesus told Peter, “Put out in deep water and lower your net for a catch.” Peter was hesitant because he had been fishing all night and had caught nothing. After the miracle, Jesus said, “Do not be afraid; from now on, you will be catching men.” Lk 5:4–11.
Only God brings forth the miracle. Only God can bring forth the conversion of men. Peter had to do one thing: to listen and obey Christ. Peter’s expertise, knowledge, and intelligence did not catch the fish.
I often want to make things happen with my knowledge and experience, so I insist and push, but the “catch” does not come forth. Faith requires that I continue doing what the Lord tells me to do and then wait for Him to perform the miracle of the conversion and deliverance of men. Sometimes the miracle happens immediately, but most of the time, it comes about through the process of long waiting, and this, too, Peter had to learn.
The long waiting brings me face to face with my powerlessness, and my nothingness, and if I keep my gaze on Christ, my faith is strengthened through the knowledge of His goodness, majesty, and power.
