Jesus cries tears for us, His children, His friends. Many are going astray, blinded by Satan’s deception. Jesus suffers for us and with us. In the Eucharist, He continues to live His agony of love.

How do we feel when we suffer, and a friend comes and suffers with us? We are consoled. As MOC, we are called to be consolers of the Sacred Heart of Jesus as ONE with the Immaculate Heart of

Mary. Mary continues to suffer ALL as ONE with Jesus; that is why she is the Mother of Sorrows. As MOC, we need to enter and live the sorrows and interior exhaustion (fatigue) we feel in our hearts. We need not fight this but enter into the suffering profoundly and suffer and cry with our Beloved as ONE with our Mother of Sorrows. God desires to use this HIDDEN MARTYRDOM of our hearts as grace for many in great danger of hell, especially many priests.

I ask my Lord, “But where is the JOY; I can’t seem even to smile?” And the image I see is the face of our Mother of Sorrows. I do not see a smile on her face. Joy, I have come to understand, is the peace of the Father in believing that I am participating in the bitter chalice of my Beloved with Him. Joy is interior peace in living in the Divine Will. Joy is in the faith of knowing that I am redeeming souls with Jesus as I participate in His interior crucifixion.

I have also asked whether I am being fully available to my family. This, too, has become part of my interior suffering. As I have grown through the years in my vocation as a MOC, I have a deep interior life that I did not have before. This union with my Lord in His suffering and love is real, demanding, and at times exhausting. It’s as if I live two lives: my life with my family and my interior life with my Lord, which is also very vibrant. They are not necessarily separate but complement each other and are distinct. Because of this, I often ask, “Am I being ‘available’ enough to my family?” I never remember asking this question so much before becoming a MOC. My Lord has shown me that I am available to my family in different ways and in a much deeper way than I was before. Just the fact that I now ask this question consistently forces me to be even more attentive to the needs of my family.